Joining Turquois' 30 Days of secrets

I'll keep this post running, instead of starting a new one each day.

Secret 1, November 3, 2008. I WOULD LOVE Guns N' Roses tickets for their upcoming Chinese Democracy Tour. I saw them in 1987 when they toured with the Rolling Stones. Best concert ever. I still love Axl (not so much his hair) and still consider Appetite For Destruction and Civil War two of my all time favorite CDs.

Secret 2, November 4, 2008. I'll do this tonight, since I'm working at the polls all day tomorrow. It's 8 hours before the polls open and I still do not know who I'm voting for in the Presidential race. I'm torn. McCain was my first choice, pre-Sarah Palin. Obama has me confused with his liberal views on gay marriage, abortion, and spending. I actually wanted Hilary Clinton in office.

Secret 3, November 5, 2008. Today is Jaclyn's birthday, and every November 5 I remember Jack and how mean and cruel he was to Bobby growing up and I resent that whole family. I resent Barbie for stealing Dorothy's money and for calling me names when I got pregnant with Heather, even though her own daughter also got pregnant, a year younger than me. I resent Jack for every mean thing he did to me. I wish bad for them. I know that's wrong, but I do. I hate that I do because I know it's wrong, but I hate the injustice of a child being born and given away, with no fault of their own, and not having love that every child deserves just because their parents were too selfish to take responsibility and to the right thing.

Secret 4, November 6, 2008. I start Christmas shopping in January every year (for the past couple) while the kids are still small enough for fashion trends not to matter. I get shirts for Katie, Hannah & David for $2-$3 and jackets for about $10.

Secret 5, November 7, 2008. I have the worst habit of picking at my cuticles. My fingers look disgusting, especially when I'm in the water and they get soft from the chlorine. I'm trying to let my nails grow now and really trying hard not pick at my cuticles, but it's one of the hardest things. It started when my husband died. I always bit my nails, but the picking the cuticles started then. It's horrible.

Secret 6, November 8, 2008. My life's biggest ambition is to write a novel. I have so much to say and write about, but I fear people actually reading it. I really want to be published though.

November 9, 2008. About 5 years ago Mary and I were jogging down Rancho Vista at night. As I ran across the street, right past Wendy's, where you get on the North 14, I fell into a large hole. Palmdale was redoing the onramp and there were cones up, but it was night and they weren't really visible. I fell so hard on my knee that for a minute, I couldn't walk, but I eventually shook it out and continued to walk home. Now, 5 years later, I still have such tightness behind my knee. I have to take Joint vitamins. There is no pain, just discomfort and tightness, which I'm sure will result in arthritis as I age. I think I should have sued the city, but it's not like me to sue, so now I just have to endure. When I walk for long periods of time, I have to stop and stretch out the back of my legs because it's very discomforting.

November 10, 2008. I very rarely wear make up, but I also very rarely don't wear Covergirl Tinted Moisturizer in medium to dark in a little white plastic bottle. It evens out my skin just enough and moisturizes my skin, but you can't tell I'm wearing make up. I sell Avon at work, but this $5 bottle of Covergirl lasts me close to 6 months and it's really light since it's just a moisturizer. It has a 15 spf as well to protect from the sun.

November 11, 2008. I'm dreading Thanksgiving. Our family can never seem to get together for the holidays so it always ends up being a fiasco, with fighting and stuff. No one sets a table. We eat, sitting on the carpet or outside on the grass. It's very disfunctional, and I really want to start my own tradition with Katie & Heather, but we're just 3 people and it seems odd, and I hate hurting my mom's feelings. My brother doesn't come, and if he does, it's 3 hours late, Becky and Danny don't come, Debbie doesn't come, so it's always just me and Mary, but this year Mary is going camping. Instead of it being a Holy day of giving thanks, it just seems very stressful.

November 12, 2008. I'm actually a little mad at Turquois for blowing out her 30 days of secrets and not contributing. I thought doing this with her would be fun, but she's only posted 2 1/2 times. I say 1/2 because she deleted 3/30.

November 13, 2008. I get mostly all of my news and information from KFI640. They cover all the big stories in so much detail. I rarely watch the news at home, but always seem to be up on whatever is going on. I do log on to CNN in the mornings and afternoons, and AVpress.com to see a little of what is going on, but for the most part, I like KFIs news. I don't like Rush Limbaugh, he drives me insane and I think he's one of the most boring radio personalities ever, and although I don't agree with a lot of what John & Ken or Bill Handel says (their shock value statements), they really cover news stories well.

November 14, 2008. I haven't seen my brother in 2 years. Katie is 16 months old and he just saw her for the 1st time a month ago. I'm really angry at him in my heart, for not coming around more, especially since my mom is getting older. He's the only man in our family and he does nothing to help my mom, like fix things for her, mow her lawn--things a son should be doing for his mom. Her knees are so bad now, and my brother never comes around. His Christmas present from 2 years ago is still sitting wrapped at her house, waiting for him.

November 15, 2008. On most days, I make my bed before leaving for work. When I become depressed or my house gets too dirty though, it's hard for me to get motivated to do things.

November 16, 2008. None of my clothes fit me anymore. I've gained so much weight that I only have one pair of pants that I can squeeze into that don't have elastic on them. I'm really depressed by this. Really.

November 17, 2008. Bike riding is my favorite form of exercise, but I don't have anyone to ride with me. I don't like stationery bikes. Mary won't get on a bike and I get scared to ride alone.

November 18, 2008. Nearly my entire tv line up consists of reality shows. Survivor, American Idol, America's Next Top Model, and Biggest Loser.

November 19, 2008. I am missing two back teeth. One was pulled when I was 16 and refused to have a root canal, and one last year. The one in the back was just a tiny sliver of a tooth. It broke years ago, and finally, caused so much pain that it had to be pulled out.