Merry Xmas

I've always hated the term, Merry Xmas. For me, it narrows down Christ to nothing more than an "X". Tonight, I went to see Wynonna Judd perform at the Lancaster Performing Arts Center with my friend, Ronica. She sang beautifully and I loved hearing all the old Christmas songs, and as I sat there, I realized through this whole holiday season I have forgotten about Christ and about it being His birthday. I've so focused on finding perfect gifts for everyone, that I've totally lost the whole reason for the season. I felt ashamed.

Christmas songs are gospel songs, really. I mean, the old classic ones. "Hark the Harold Angel Sing", "Silent Night", they all speak about the birth of Christ and of Him being a Savior. Somewhere along the line, I totally forgot about Him.

It felt good to listen to those songs and remember God and all that He has done for me. Since Bobby died, I've been so down on going to church. It's been such a struggle, but if I consider all the blessings, I can say that God has always provided for me and always seen me through everything. I like to say that "things always work themselves out", but I know that God has been working those things out for me, because "all things work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose". God has given me an awesome job that I love and that has allowed me to spend much more than I should have for Christmas this year. In a time when the economy is so bad, God has blessed me and each day I have a job to go to is just evidence of God's mercy in my life. That is not to say that those who have lost their jobs don't have His mercy. I went through a year that was literally hell on earth. Everything that could go wrong did, but through that, God kept me, and pulled me through it, and for those who have lost their jobs, God will pull them through too. There is a time of struggling for all of us, but God always wants His best for us.

I'm hoping to get my Christmas tree tomorrow so that I can get more into the spirit. For all the gifts and money spent, nothing can replace the joy of having your family together and watching my granddaughter grow up and seeing my daughter finish college and be a mother.

I've been listening to 106.3 all week. They are playing nothing but Christmas songs. It's nice and relaxing as I drive around town.

I miss church and I miss having a relationship with Jesus Christ.