Spring and Things

Today I woke up and went to yard sales. There wasn't much out. Mary and I found a few things--nothing to speak of. I did find a potty cover for Katie. Heather has the same one for her at her house, so I saw this one for $1 and bleached it up for Katie.I thought Bunco was today, so I made Macaroni. It was in the oven, and I was just about to put the final layer of cheese on, and get it browned, when Mary called and said we had the wrong day for Bunco. It's actually TOMORROW! I turned off the oven, let it cool down, and put it in the refrigerator for tomorrow. I was disappointed because I had whittled away so much of my morning, thinking I was going to be going to BUNCO, when I could have been cleaning the yard up.

Spring is coming and I'm looking forward to the warmness of Spring. I noticed flowers starting to sprout. Tulips in the backyard and daisies in the front.

I planted some new bareroot roses in the front yard. They are lavendar. I love lavendar. I hope they grow. I got them at Costco, 2 for $11.00

I decided I would try to tackle some of what is going on outside. I feel overwhelmed. I cut down some large branches from my tree and now I find myself staring into this amazing pile of wood and I don't know where to start. Because of the tree branches, weeds have sprouted out underneath--tons of them.

Far beneath my pile of branches, and inside the weeds, daffodils are trying to sprout out. They are beautiful, but covered by so much mess. It reminded me of how I feel so often. I feel like I want to sprout and grow, but I'm covered by so many hurts and disappointments, that it's hard to see the beauty that lies beneath. I'm struggling to shine through, and see the son, but my heart is so buried in pain, and I miss Bobby. Yesterday would have been our 15th wedding anniversary. I went to a concert with my friend, Ronica, at the Desert Vineyard. I thought about bobby, and I missed him so much. Bobby not being in church with me is something I will never get used to and something I'll always long for.

I've been reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn again (on CD). I think it's my 4th time reading it. It reminds me so much of Bobby and I, so much of growing up, so much of just the living and struggling that we all have to face. It really warms my heart to hear it and Johnny Nolan--I imagine him like Bobby. Johnny died at 34 years of age too. The same age as Bobby when he died. So much good in Johnny Nolan, but so much bad because of his drinking. The same with Bobby. So much good, but so much bad, because of the drugs.
My side yard was a disaster. I have a ton of recyleables to get rid of and redeem. Leaves and trash and old junk was piled up back there.

I put on my iPod and got busy. In a relatively short time, I was able to make some progress. I added a few new songs. Cat Steven's "Wild World" and "Peace Train", and "Dancing in the Moonlight" by Toploader. Also, some Tom Petty and "Dare You to Move" by Switchfoot. I bought Matt Giraud's American Idol songs and Kris' too. I'd like to eventually build a cover for this side yard and set it up for Katie to play in, where she'll be safe, and be able to keep all her big toys, like a kitchen set and things. It would have to be covered first though, since all her toys would get ruined from the rain.

I still need to hire someone to come cut down those bushes. I think while I'm at it, I should hire them to take away all the tree branches and weeds. It's just so overwhelming and I think I'm past the age of doing everything myself and feeling proud of my accomplishments. I think I'm at the age of paying someone else to do it, and being happy to rest.

There are new neighbors across the street. I worry because you never know what type of people you will get to live next door. They have been working in the yard today too.