2nd Star to the Right and Straight on til' Morning

This morning, Desiree and I got up early and left for Neverland. We took David with us. He was sleeping in the car.
When we got there, we saw a bunch of people. Some were selling shirts and food which offended me. I thought it was an inappropriate place, since we were there to honor Michael, not make money off of him. There were whites, blacks, Asians, Hispanics. That was the thing with Michael. He transcended all races. Everyone loved to dance to his music. Everyone loved him and he was never categorized as a black artist, an R&B artist. He was just Michael, and he was an icon. Everyone could relate to him. Some people were so clever with their signs. Some came from Ireland and Hungary.

People put a lot of time into the signage and letters. They were all very kind.

One family brought these wood circles and drew or wrote on them. They were really nice. Only one is pictured.

The flowers on the wreaths had withered away and will probably be replaced. All that were left were the green spongy things. The ride up was beautiful. The whole area is stunning and close to Cachuma Lake. There were horses and cows and beautiful trees like the one Michael used to write his songs in. Good, strong, climbing trees.

David and I in front of the gate.

I enjoyed reading all the letters. I left one of my own as a last minute thing.

There were a lot of Spanish fans and fans from all over the world, really. I'm glad I had a chance to go. I wish I would have went earlier, when he was alive and lived there. You never really appreciate someone until they are gone. I grew up with Michael Jackson. I remember dancing to PYT. I remember so many days at Mountain View park, hanging out with my friends and listening to him on a giant boom box (when people pulled their boom boxes around in wagons).

I have spent the past 10 days watching youtube, reminiscing, remembering Michael and just wishing that he had been shown more love when he was alive. I watched his concert today from 1992. Fans adored him and he loved his fans.

His music is timeless.

When I first found out he died, I was emailing a friend back and forth, talking about Ed McMahon and Farrah dying and I said, not really expecting an answer, "I wonder who will be next", referring to the old adage about celebrities always dying in 3's, then she wrote me back, "Michael Jackson" and I was like, yeah..that is random and so far from left field. It actually sounded impossible, and then she wrote that he had just been taken to the hospital. I quickly googled it, and found out it was true. He was in the hospital. I googled everything I could find on it and was in so much shock when TMZ was reporting he was dead. I couldnt' function at my desk and I just never expected to take his death this hard. I feel like I lost a part of my childhood, even though I never knew him. I felt like a piece of who I was died.

It has been 10 days and I just can't even imagine what his family is going through, or his children. He was a beautiful soul, who loved children and really found joy in watching them play. I can relate to that, because I also find so much happiness in just sitting with a child and seeing them happy.

His memorial is Tuesday. I tried so hard to get tickets but was unsuccessful. I will watch it on television, I guess. I have no choice, but I'm so disappointed.